Monday, November 14, 2005

Writing: Saturated Mind

Began process to repost all old writings. ^__^

I feel as though my mind is about to burst. What is that word? Full? No. Over flowing? Nope. Saturated? Yes, yes. That's the word. My mind is saturated. Has my mind been hooked up to a matrix machine? All that information jammed into my brain and yet I can't get hold of it. Everything and nothing.

I can't breathe. I'm afraid to breathe. Every bit of information obtained by seeing, feeling, hearing, tasting, smelling, overwhelms me. I can't think! I can't move! I can't speak!

A familiar senstation burns behind my eyelids. My throat choking with the pain. My face turning paler. The blood rushing to my head. The coldness that devours me. And the shaking. Oh yes. That shaking.

No. No. Not now. Please. Not now! Everyone is looking at me! Why now? Why can't I be normal like others? Saturated. My mind is saturated. I can't control any longer. The pain, the horror, the shame. I'm running again. Coward.

I look at my shaking hands. Why can't they stop trembling? What's wrong with me? Why are my legs shaking too? I can't run any further. And I care no longer. Let the shame, horror and pain kill me. I have nothing else to lose.

2 comments:

Zahra said...
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Karen said...
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